39 Funny Teacher Jokes for Adults
Teacher jokes for teachers: grading, the copier, staff meetings and the countdown to summer.
Teachers run on coffee, patience and a copier that hasn’t worked since 2014. These teacher jokes are for the people who grade papers on weekends and still show up Monday, and they’re clean enough for the teachers’ lounge.
Staff meeting and school district jokes (17)
Copier with tenure, icebreakers and a burnout workshop held on a Saturday.
-
The principal ended our 90-minute staff meeting by asking, “Any questions?”
Thirty teachers silently begged Linda not to raise her hand. She raised it.
-
I asked the front office for one box of tissues for my classroom.
They asked for a purchase order, two signatures and the name of the nose.
-
The copier in our teachers’ workroom has been broken since September.
At this point, it has tenure.
-
Our principal asked us to cut back on copies to save money.
So now I hold up one worksheet and slowly walk it around the room.
-
Someone announced there was leftover pizza in the teachers’ lounge.
Fastest evacuation drill this school has ever run.
-
I finally got a free planning period today.
I spent it covering a chemistry class. I got a D in chemistry.
-
For Teacher Appreciation Week, the district gave every teacher a gift.
A pencil with the district logo. We had to sign for it.
-
Our first staff meeting of the year opened with an icebreaker: “Share your favorite summer memory.”
Mine was ten weeks without a single icebreaker.
-
The district made us attend an all-day workshop on avoiding teacher burnout.
On a Saturday.
-
Our teacher training day was six hours on keeping students engaged.
Presented by a man reading 80 slides word for word.
-
Our principal brought homemade cookies to the staff meeting.
That’s how we knew the news was going to be bad.
-
Our principal opened the staff meeting by admitting, “Honestly, this probably could have been an email.”
Then he read us the email. Out loud. For an hour.
-
This year, my entire classroom supply budget is $75.
The district paid a consultant $40,000 to teach us to be resourceful.
-
Our district decided red pens are too harsh for grading, so now we grade in purple.
Same disappointment. It’s just more regal now.
-
The copier jammed, so I opened all eleven of its little doors looking for the paper.
Found two staples, a paper clip and the last teacher who tried this.
-
Our district rolls out a bold new initiative every single August.
The binders from the last six are holding up my wobbly desk.
-
Our school just opened a brand-new “wellness room” for teachers.
It’s a broom closet with a beanbag and a 12-person waitlist.
Teacher life jokes (12)
The teacher look, teacher tired and that first glorious Monday of summer.
-
A man at the movie theater wouldn’t stop talking, so I gave him my teacher look.
He apologized, put his phone away, and asked if he could use the restroom.
-
After grading 130 essays this weekend, I found a sweet note from my husband saying he loves me.
I handed it back with “Needs supporting evidence” written in red.
-
I listed my job as “teacher” on a loan application.
The loan officer handed me a lollipop and a box of tissues.
-
Teacher tired is a whole different kind of tired.
Last Tuesday, I fell asleep at 7:30. In my car. In my driveway.
-
I’m not saying teachers are underpaid.
But one of my students’ lemonade stands had a better quarter than I did.
-
On the last day of school, we all line up outside to wave goodbye to the buses.
Then the teachers’ cars beat the buses out of the parking lot.
-
On the first Monday of summer break, I went to the bathroom at 10:15 a.m.
No reason. Just because I could. I cried a little.
-
At 5:30 a.m., the district called a snow day.
I haven’t felt that much joy since my wedding. Possibly including my wedding.
-
My school lanyard has fourteen keys on it.
Three open something. The rest are for jingling with authority down the hall.
-
Experts say teachers make about 1,500 decisions a day.
So no, honey, I will not be picking the restaurant tonight.
-
The vending machine in our teachers’ lounge has eaten so many of my dollars.
I now claim it as a dependent.
-
My red pen ran out of ink halfway through 120 essays.
Lucky pen. It got to quit.
Classroom and parent jokes (10)
Late-night parent emails, napkin permission slips and glitter that never leaves.
-
A parent emailed me at 11:40 p.m. about tomorrow’s homework.
At 11:52, she emailed my principal asking why I hadn’t responded.
-
We did exactly one glitter project in my classroom, back in 2019.
The custodian still won’t make eye contact with me.
-
I sent home 28 field-trip permission slips two weeks early.
The last one came back the morning of the trip. On a napkin.
-
I accidentally wrote today’s entire lesson on the whiteboard in permanent marker.
Good news: my lesson plans are done through June.
-
At Back-to-School Night, I spent twenty minutes explaining my grading policy.
First question: “So what’s your grading policy?”
-
My principal stopped by for a surprise observation during my best lesson of the year.
That’s when the smart board decided to install 47 updates.
-
In August, my classroom looked like it came straight off Pinterest.
By October, it’s a crime scene with a cozy reading nook.
-
A parent emailed asking for a detailed plan of everything we’ll be doing this school year.
I wrote back, “So would I.”
-
I took one sick day and left the sub four pages of detailed, color-coded lesson plans.
The sub’s note said, “Showed a movie. Great group!”
-
At Back-to-School Night, parents have to sit in our second-grade chairs.
It took two teachers and the custodian to get Mr. Patterson back up.