My new cooler holds forty-eight cans of beer and six large fish.
We’ve never actually tested the fish part.
2,058 jokes · 32 topics · new daily
Funny jokes worth telling.
Clean, short jokes that are actually funny: dad jokes, one-liners, work jokes and holiday jokes, sorted into lists so you find the right one fast.
Today’s jokes
My wife proudly told me she saved $200 at the mall today.
If she saves any more, we’ll lose the house.
I told everyone I’d just have a sliver of each pie.
Turns out eight slivers is a whole pie with extra steps.
My new diet rule: I only eat when I’m hungry.
Or bored. Or sad. Or awake.
A state trooper pulled me over, walked up to my window and said, “Papers.”
I said, “Scissors! I win!”
I don’t trust people who don’t drink coffee.
Where’s their energy coming from? What are they hiding?
My therapist says I have a fear of commitment.
We’ve been seeing each other for nine years.
My husband and I finally had a real date night.
We fell asleep in the restaurant parking lot. Best date in years.
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Thanksgiving and Christmas jokes
In season now. Holiday lists move up here about six weeks before the big day.
Thanksgiving · Thu, Nov 26
51 Thanksgiving Jokes
Clean Thanksgiving jokes: turkey, relatives, football and the post-dinner nap.
For workChristmas · Fri, Dec 25
48 Christmas Jokes
Clean Christmas jokes: Santa, the lights, the gifts and the in-laws. Card and party ready.
For workAll joke lists
32 topics, best jokes first. Every joke is a quick setup and a punchline.
Holidays and birthdays
Everyday jokes
Life and family
Work and jobs
Food, pets and hobbies
Joke videos
A new short joke video every day. See all videos
My mother-in-law sends every Thanksgiving guest home with leftovers.Thanksgiving · 11s
I’m forty-two and still sitting at the kids’ table.Thanksgiving · 10s
Skunked again, Dale asked the guy at the fish counter to toss him four trout so he could honestly say he caught them.Fishing · 14s
My credit card company called to flag suspicious activity on my account.One-Liners · 10s
My brother started a band called Duvet.Puns · 7s
Popular joke lists
Hand-picked jokes for work, church, husbands, wives and more.
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51 Clean Jokes for WorkOffice-safe jokes for meetings, the team chat and the break room.
51 Funny Wife JokesAffectionate wife jokes for husbands who know who’s really in charge.
33 Funny Food PunsClean food puns about cooking, cheese, fruit, veggies and coffee.
34 Clean Jokes for ChurchWholesome, clean jokes to read at church, Bible study or the potluck.
51 Funny Husband JokesHusband jokes for wives who have heard “I know where it is” one too many times.
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31 Funny Knock-Knock Jokes for AdultsClean knock-knock jokes for adults about work, bills, getting older and home repairs.
23 Funny Halloween PunsClean Halloween puns for captions and parties: ghosts, skeletons, vampires and witches.
40 Funny Boss JokesJokes about bosses, managers and the meetings they schedule.
35 Funny Animal PunsClean animal puns about pets, farm animals, wild animals and bugs.
45 Dad Jokes for WorkOffice-safe dad jokes for meetings, Slack and the break room.
51 Funny Pet JokesThe best dog and cat jokes in one place, for pet lovers.
23 Funny Work PunsOffice-safe work puns and job puns about careers, trades and quitting.
51 Funny Jokes for SeniorsClean, relatable jokes for seniors about aging, retirement, doctors and technology.
36 Christmas Jokes for WorkOffice-safe Christmas jokes for the party, the card and the team chat.
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41 Retirement Jokes for CoworkersJokes for a coworker’s retirement card, party or farewell email.
41 Retirement Speech JokesJokes and lines that work read out loud in a retirement speech or toast.
33 Birthday Jokes for CoworkersFunny birthday jokes for a coworker’s card or the office cake.
41 Over-the-Hill Birthday JokesJokes for milestone birthdays: 40, 50, 60 and beyond.
30 Thanksgiving Jokes for WorkOffice-safe Thanksgiving jokes for the potluck, the team chat and the meeting.
48 Sarcastic Jokes for WorkDry, sarcastic jokes that are still safe to share at work.
Meme of the day
Too real?
A new JokeBay meme every day, straight from our joke lists. Today’s is from Coffee Jokes.
More coffee jokesJust added
A few new jokes go up every day.
Christmas JokesNew today
I set a strict budget for Christmas shopping this year.
It was a beautiful number. I still think about it sometimes.
Dog JokesNew today
It’s ten degrees outside. My dog wants out. Five minutes later, in. Then out again.
I’m not a dog owner. I’m a doorman who doesn’t get tips.
Over-the-Hill Birthday JokesNew today
My 50th birthday party ended at 9:30.
Not because of the neighbors. Because of the guests.
Got a joke worth telling?
Send it in. If it gets a real laugh here, it goes on the list.