I locked myself in the bathroom for five minutes of peace and quiet.
Somebody slid a snack request under the door.
2,064 jokes · 32 topics · new daily
Funny jokes worth telling.
Clean, short jokes that are actually funny: dad jokes, one-liners, work jokes and holiday jokes, sorted into lists so you find the right one fast.
Today’s jokes
We partied hard this New Year’s Eve and rang it in right at midnight.
London time. We were asleep by 7:15.
I’m not overeating at Thanksgiving.
I’m carb-loading for the nap.
I have so much free time since retiring that I finally read the terms and conditions.
Turns out I agreed to a lot.
My wife says I’m the most immature man she’s ever met.
I told her to get out of my fort.
My friend texted, “I’m five minutes away!”
Which is friend for “I’m getting out of the shower.”
What do you call a dog who does magic tricks?
A Labracadabrador.
Nothing ruins a Friday at work faster
than realizing it’s Tuesday.
1 / 8
Thanksgiving and Christmas jokes
In season now. Holiday lists move up here about six weeks before the big day.
Thanksgiving · Thu, Nov 26
51 Thanksgiving Jokes
Clean Thanksgiving jokes: turkey, relatives, football and the post-dinner nap.
For workChristmas · Fri, Dec 25
50 Christmas Jokes
Clean Christmas jokes: Santa, the lights, the gifts and the in-laws. Card and party ready.
For workAll joke lists
32 topics, best jokes first. Every joke is a quick setup and a punchline.
Holidays and birthdays
Everyday jokes
Life and family
Work and jobs
Food, pets and hobbies
Joke videos
A new short joke video every day. See all videos
What do you call a snake who works at the DMV?Puns · 8s
My mother-in-law and I finally agree on something.Mother-in-Law · 9s
Two fish are sitting in a tank. One turns to the other.Dad Jokes · 9s
Our dentist just married a manicurist.Puns · 8s
My wife handed me her new phone and asked me to sync it.Dad Jokes · 10s
Popular joke lists
Hand-picked jokes for work, church, husbands, wives and more.
31 Funny Knock-Knock Jokes for KidsSilly, clean knock-knock jokes for parents to tell the kids: animals, food and holidays.
51 Clean Jokes for WorkOffice-safe jokes for meetings, the team chat and the break room.
51 Funny Wife JokesAffectionate wife jokes for husbands who know who’s really in charge.
33 Funny Food PunsClean food puns about cooking, cheese, fruit, veggies and coffee.
34 Clean Jokes for ChurchWholesome, clean jokes to read at church, Bible study or the potluck.
51 Funny Husband JokesHusband jokes for wives who have heard “I know where it is” one too many times.
21 Funny Christmas PunsClean Christmas puns for cards and captions: Santa, reindeer, snowmen and elves.
31 Funny Knock-Knock Jokes for AdultsClean knock-knock jokes for adults about work, bills, getting older and home repairs.
23 Funny Halloween PunsClean Halloween puns for captions and parties: ghosts, skeletons, vampires and witches.
40 Funny Boss JokesJokes about bosses, managers and the meetings they schedule.
35 Funny Animal PunsClean animal puns about pets, farm animals, wild animals and bugs.
45 Dad Jokes for WorkOffice-safe dad jokes for meetings, Slack and the break room.
51 Funny Pet JokesThe best dog and cat jokes in one place, for pet lovers.
23 Funny Work PunsOffice-safe work puns and job puns about careers, trades and quitting.
51 Funny Jokes for SeniorsClean, relatable jokes for seniors about aging, retirement, doctors and technology.
36 Christmas Jokes for WorkOffice-safe Christmas jokes for the party, the card and the team chat.
50 Jokes for Work MeetingsQuick icebreakers to open a meeting, a Zoom call or the team chat.
41 Retirement Jokes for CoworkersJokes for a coworker’s retirement card, party or farewell email.
41 Retirement Speech JokesJokes and lines that work read out loud in a retirement speech or toast.
33 Birthday Jokes for CoworkersFunny birthday jokes for a coworker’s card or the office cake.
41 Over-the-Hill Birthday JokesJokes for milestone birthdays: 40, 50, 60 and beyond.
30 Thanksgiving Jokes for WorkOffice-safe Thanksgiving jokes for the potluck, the team chat and the meeting.
48 Sarcastic Jokes for WorkDry, sarcastic jokes that are still safe to share at work.
Meme of the day
Be honest: is this you?
A new JokeBay meme every day, straight from our joke lists. Today’s is from Fishing Jokes.
More fishing jokesJust added
A few new jokes go up every day.
Christmas JokesNew today
My wife keeps a closet full of gifts to regift.
Half of them have a sticky note that says, “NOT Carol.”
Retirement JokesNew today
Our favorite diner ends its early-bird special at 5 p.m. sharp.
Last week we got there at 5:02 and paid full price, like animals.
Sarcastic Jokes for WorkNew today
The IT help desk auto-replied, “We’ll get back to you within 24 hours.”
That was nine days ago. Must be one very long day over there.
Got a joke worth telling?
Send it in. If it gets a real laugh here, it goes on the list.