I went shopping for camouflage pants today.
Couldn’t find any.
2,013 jokes · 32 topics · new daily
Funny jokes worth telling.
Clean, short jokes that are actually funny: dad jokes, one-liners, work jokes and holiday jokes, sorted into lists so you find the right one fast.
Today’s jokes
Want to start a real fight on a nursing unit?
Borrow a pen and don’t give it back.
Every October I haul eleven bins of Halloween decorations down from the attic.
I put out one pumpkin, then lie down.
My boss looked at me and said, “Have a good day.”
So I went home.
I got up from my recliner for ten seconds to grab the remote.
Came back to find it under new management.
I’m not saying teachers are underpaid.
But one of my students’ lemonade stands had a better quarter than I did.
I went through my lawyer’s bill line by line. The very last item:
“Preparing this bill: 1.5 hours.”
I love it when people say, “Calm down.”
It has worked on nobody in recorded history.
1 / 8
Halloween and Thanksgiving jokes
In season now. Holiday lists move up here about six weeks before the big day.
Halloween · Sat, Oct 31
60 Halloween Jokes
Short, clean Halloween jokes: costumes, candy, haunted houses and the office party.
Thanksgiving · Thu, Nov 26
42 Thanksgiving Jokes
Clean Thanksgiving jokes: turkey, relatives, football and the post-dinner nap.
For workAll joke lists
32 topics, best jokes first. Every joke is a quick setup and a punchline.
Holidays and birthdays
Everyday jokes
Life and family
Work and jobs
Food, pets and hobbies
Joke videos
A new short joke video every day. See all videos
Our HOA sent me a letter demanding I take down my creepy Halloween decorations.Halloween · 10s
I asked my phone, “Why am I still single?”One-Liners · 8s
My dog greets me at the door like I’ve been away at sea for three years.Dog · 9s
The waiter promised the wings were “only a little spicy.”Food · 9s
Skunked again, Dale asked the guy at the fish counter to toss him four trout so he could honestly say he caught them.Fishing · 14s
Popular joke lists
Hand-picked jokes for work, church, husbands, wives and more.
31 Funny Knock-Knock Jokes for KidsSilly, clean knock-knock jokes for parents to tell the kids: animals, food and holidays.
51 Clean Jokes for WorkOffice-safe jokes for meetings, the team chat and the break room.
51 Funny Wife JokesAffectionate wife jokes for husbands who know who’s really in charge.
33 Funny Food PunsClean food puns about cooking, cheese, fruit, veggies and coffee.
34 Clean Jokes for ChurchWholesome, clean jokes to read at church, Bible study or the potluck.
51 Funny Husband JokesHusband jokes for wives who have heard “I know where it is” one too many times.
21 Funny Christmas PunsClean Christmas puns for cards and captions: Santa, reindeer, snowmen and elves.
31 Funny Knock-Knock Jokes for AdultsClean knock-knock jokes for adults about work, bills, getting older and home repairs.
23 Funny Halloween PunsClean Halloween puns for captions and parties: ghosts, skeletons, vampires and witches.
40 Funny Boss JokesJokes about bosses, managers and the meetings they schedule.
35 Funny Animal PunsClean animal puns about pets, farm animals, wild animals and bugs.
45 Dad Jokes for WorkOffice-safe dad jokes for meetings, Slack and the break room.
51 Funny Pet JokesThe best dog and cat jokes in one place, for pet lovers.
23 Funny Work PunsOffice-safe work puns and job puns about careers, trades and quitting.
51 Funny Jokes for SeniorsClean, relatable jokes for seniors about aging, retirement, doctors and technology.
36 Christmas Jokes for WorkOffice-safe Christmas jokes for the party, the card and the team chat.
50 Jokes for Work MeetingsQuick icebreakers to open a meeting, a Zoom call or the team chat.
41 Retirement Jokes for CoworkersJokes for a coworker’s retirement card, party or farewell email.
41 Retirement Speech JokesJokes and lines that work read out loud in a retirement speech or toast.
33 Birthday Jokes for CoworkersFunny birthday jokes for a coworker’s card or the office cake.
41 Over-the-Hill Birthday JokesJokes for milestone birthdays: 40, 50, 60 and beyond.
30 Thanksgiving Jokes for WorkOffice-safe Thanksgiving jokes for the potluck, the team chat and the meeting.
48 Sarcastic Jokes for WorkDry, sarcastic jokes that are still safe to share at work.
Comic of the day
Harold & June: Shooting your age
Harold: I finally shot my age at golf today!
June: Seventy-four? That’s wonderful!
Harold: That was just the front nine.
Just added
A few new jokes go up every day.
Thanksgiving JokesNew today
After Thanksgiving dinner, every man in my family unbuttons his pants at the same moment.
It sounds like a twenty-one-gun salute.
Coffee JokesNew today
My dentist asked if I drink a lot of coffee.
I smiled. That answered it.
Funny Pet JokesNew today
Every night, my dog falls asleep at the foot of the bed.
Every morning, I wake up at the foot of the bed.
Got a joke worth telling?
Send it in. If it gets a real laugh here, it goes on the list.