For our anniversary, I asked my wife what she wanted. She said, “Surprise me.”
So this year, I remembered it.
1,986 jokes · 32 topics · new daily
Clean, short jokes that are actually funny: dad jokes, one-liners, work jokes and holiday jokes, sorted into lists so you find the right one fast.
Today’s jokes
For our anniversary, I asked my wife what she wanted. She said, “Surprise me.”
So this year, I remembered it.
The chatbot cheerfully said, “I’m here to help!”
Then it sent me a link to the page I was already on.
I carved a jack-o’-lantern for the first time in years.
It looks exactly like my driver’s license photo.
My dog and I spent six weeks in obedience school.
The trainer pulled me aside: “The dog’s fine. It’s you.”
My cake at 30 said “Party Animal.” At 50 it said “Happy Birthday.”
At 60 it just said “Low Sodium.”
My wife handed me her new phone and asked me to sync it.
It’s at the bottom of the lake now. She’s not happy.
My wife guided me down the boat ramp using hand signals.
Twenty-six years of marriage, and I learned three new ones.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Frank. Frank who?
Frankenstein. Got an outlet? I’m down to 2%.
In season now. Holiday lists move up here about six weeks before the big day.
Halloween · Sat, Oct 31
Short, clean Halloween jokes: costumes, candy, haunted houses and the office party.
Thanksgiving · Thu, Nov 26
Clean Thanksgiving jokes: turkey, relatives, football and the post-dinner nap.
For work32 topics, best jokes first. Every joke is a quick setup and a punchline.
A new short joke video every day. See all videos
My dog greets me at the door like I’ve been away at sea for three years.Dog · 9s
My doctor told me to drink eight glasses a day. Then he looked at my chart again.Doctor · 11s
Every Halloween I swear I’ll only eat a few pieces of the candy.Halloween · 11s
I asked my phone, “Why am I still single?”One-Liners · 8s
My wife says I have absolutely no sense of direction.Dad Jokes · 9s
Hand-picked jokes for work, church, husbands, wives and more.
Meme of the day
A new JokeBay meme every day, straight from our joke lists. Today’s is from Food Jokes.
More food jokesA few new jokes go up every day.
Our street gets 300 trick-or-treaters, and we always run out of candy by 7:30.
By nine, I’m handing out soup cans, batteries and our good lamp.
My mother-in-law introduces me as her favorite son-in-law.
I’m her only son-in-law. She says it like it was close.
My boss signs every single email “Best.”
Six years I’ve worked here, and I’ve never once gotten his best.
Send it in. If it gets a real laugh here, it goes on the list.