I don’t lie about my age to seem younger.
I add ten years so everyone says I look amazing.
2,010 jokes · 32 topics · new daily
Funny jokes worth telling.
Clean, short jokes that are actually funny: dad jokes, one-liners, work jokes and holiday jokes, sorted into lists so you find the right one fast.
Today’s jokes
I’m not saying I’m getting old, but I went to donate blood today.
They told me my type’s been discontinued.
This year I went to the Halloween party as “a guy with a 10 p.m. bedtime.”
Very convincing. I left at 9:40.
I bought a rotisserie chicken for dinner tonight.
It didn’t survive the parking lot.
My wife says I golf every day. I told her the doctor wants me walking more.
She said, “You take a cart.”
I’ve cut back to just one cup of coffee a day.
It’s a 64-ounce cup, but rules are rules.
I finally got a free planning period today.
I spent it covering a chemistry class. I got a D in chemistry.
My boss told me to open every presentation with a joke.
So I started with my salary.
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Halloween and Thanksgiving jokes
In season now. Holiday lists move up here about six weeks before the big day.
Halloween · Sat, Oct 31
60 Halloween Jokes
Short, clean Halloween jokes: costumes, candy, haunted houses and the office party.
Thanksgiving · Thu, Nov 26
41 Thanksgiving Jokes
Clean Thanksgiving jokes: turkey, relatives, football and the post-dinner nap.
For workAll joke lists
32 topics, best jokes first. Every joke is a quick setup and a punchline.
Holidays and birthdays
Everyday jokes
Life and family
Work and jobs
Food, pets and hobbies
Joke videos
A new short joke video every day. See all videos
My wife handed me her new phone and asked me to sync it.Dad Jokes · 10s
What do you call Santa’s helpers?Puns · 7s
My husband and I went to the Halloween party as salt and pepper.Halloween · 11s
My wife says I have absolutely no sense of direction.Dad Jokes · 9s
Every Halloween I swear I’ll only eat a few pieces of the candy.Halloween · 11s
Popular joke lists
Hand-picked jokes for work, church, husbands, wives and more.
31 Funny Knock-Knock Jokes for KidsSilly, clean knock-knock jokes for parents to tell the kids: animals, food and holidays.
51 Clean Jokes for WorkOffice-safe jokes for meetings, the team chat and the break room.
51 Funny Wife JokesAffectionate wife jokes for husbands who know who’s really in charge.
33 Funny Food PunsClean food puns about cooking, cheese, fruit, veggies and coffee.
34 Clean Jokes for ChurchWholesome, clean jokes to read at church, Bible study or the potluck.
51 Funny Husband JokesHusband jokes for wives who have heard “I know where it is” one too many times.
21 Funny Christmas PunsClean Christmas puns for cards and captions: Santa, reindeer, snowmen and elves.
31 Funny Knock-Knock Jokes for AdultsClean knock-knock jokes for adults about work, bills, getting older and home repairs.
23 Funny Halloween PunsClean Halloween puns for captions and parties: ghosts, skeletons, vampires and witches.
40 Funny Boss JokesJokes about bosses, managers and the meetings they schedule.
35 Funny Animal PunsClean animal puns about pets, farm animals, wild animals and bugs.
45 Dad Jokes for WorkOffice-safe dad jokes for meetings, Slack and the break room.
51 Funny Pet JokesThe best dog and cat jokes in one place, for pet lovers.
23 Funny Work PunsOffice-safe work puns and job puns about careers, trades and quitting.
51 Funny Jokes for SeniorsClean, relatable jokes for seniors about aging, retirement, doctors and technology.
36 Christmas Jokes for WorkOffice-safe Christmas jokes for the party, the card and the team chat.
50 Jokes for Work MeetingsQuick icebreakers to open a meeting, a Zoom call or the team chat.
41 Retirement Jokes for CoworkersJokes for a coworker’s retirement card, party or farewell email.
41 Retirement Speech JokesJokes and lines that work read out loud in a retirement speech or toast.
33 Birthday Jokes for CoworkersFunny birthday jokes for a coworker’s card or the office cake.
41 Over-the-Hill Birthday JokesJokes for milestone birthdays: 40, 50, 60 and beyond.
30 Thanksgiving Jokes for WorkOffice-safe Thanksgiving jokes for the potluck, the team chat and the meeting.
48 Sarcastic Jokes for WorkDry, sarcastic jokes that are still safe to share at work.
Meme of the day
Be honest: is this you?
A new JokeBay meme every day, straight from our joke lists. Today’s is from Dog Jokes.
More dog jokesJust added
A few new jokes go up every day.
Thanksgiving JokesNew today
Walk into my parents’ living room an hour after Thanksgiving dinner.
Eight people out cold. You’d call the gas company.
Retirement JokesNew today
I told my boss I was retiring so I could spend more time with my family.
An hour later, my family called him with a counteroffer.
Over-the-Hill Birthday JokesNew today
At 40, I bought a sports car. At 50, I bought a car with heated seats.
At 60, I bought a car I can actually get out of.
Got a joke worth telling?
Send it in. If it gets a real laugh here, it goes on the list.