My boss caught me napping at my desk.
I slowly lifted my head and said, “…in Jesus’ name, amen.”
1,983 jokes · 32 topics · new daily
Funny jokes worth telling.
Clean, short jokes that are actually funny: dad jokes, one-liners, work jokes and holiday jokes, sorted into lists so you find the right one fast.
Today’s jokes
Gary sizes up the green and asks his caddie, “Think I can get there with a 5-iron?”
Caddie: “Eventually.”
My neighbor ran his Halloween fog machine all night long.
The airport rerouted three flights.
My wife says I have absolutely no sense of direction.
So I packed my bags and right.
I unsubscribed from their emails.
They emailed me to confirm I’d never hear from them again.
My wife and I have a system. She makes all the decisions…
…and I make the suggestions she ignores.
In nursing, if it isn’t charted, it didn’t happen.
Which is how I know I’ve never once had a lunch break.
People keep telling me age is just a number.
So is my cholesterol, and my doctor is not relaxed about it.
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Halloween and Thanksgiving jokes
In season now. Holiday lists move up here about six weeks before the big day.
Halloween · Sat, Oct 31
52 Halloween Jokes
Short, clean Halloween jokes: costumes, candy, haunted houses and the office party.
Thanksgiving · Thu, Nov 26
40 Thanksgiving Jokes
Clean Thanksgiving jokes: turkey, relatives, football and the post-dinner nap.
For workAll joke lists
32 topics, best jokes first. Every joke is a quick setup and a punchline.
Holidays and birthdays
Everyday jokes
Life and family
Work and jobs
Food, pets and hobbies
Joke videos
A new short joke video every day. See all videos
I asked my phone, “Why am I still single?”One-Liners · 8s
My wife says I have absolutely no sense of direction.Dad Jokes · 9s
Every Halloween I swear I’ll only eat a few pieces of the candy.Halloween · 11s
My doctor told me to drink eight glasses a day. Then he looked at my chart again.Doctor · 11s
Two fish are sitting in a tank. One turns to the other.Dad Jokes · 9s
Popular joke lists
Hand-picked jokes for work, church, husbands, wives and more.
31 Funny Knock-Knock Jokes for KidsSilly, clean knock-knock jokes for parents to tell the kids: animals, food and holidays.
51 Clean Jokes for WorkOffice-safe jokes for meetings, the team chat and the break room.
51 Funny Wife JokesAffectionate wife jokes for husbands who know who’s really in charge.
33 Funny Food PunsClean food puns about cooking, cheese, fruit, veggies and coffee.
34 Clean Jokes for ChurchWholesome, clean jokes to read at church, Bible study or the potluck.
51 Funny Husband JokesHusband jokes for wives who have heard “I know where it is” one too many times.
21 Funny Christmas PunsClean Christmas puns for cards and captions: Santa, reindeer, snowmen and elves.
31 Funny Knock-Knock Jokes for AdultsClean knock-knock jokes for adults about work, bills, getting older and home repairs.
23 Funny Halloween PunsClean Halloween puns for captions and parties: ghosts, skeletons, vampires and witches.
40 Funny Boss JokesJokes about bosses, managers and the meetings they schedule.
35 Funny Animal PunsClean animal puns about pets, farm animals, wild animals and bugs.
45 Dad Jokes for WorkOffice-safe dad jokes for meetings, Slack and the break room.
51 Funny Pet JokesThe best dog and cat jokes in one place, for pet lovers.
23 Funny Work PunsOffice-safe work puns and job puns about careers, trades and quitting.
51 Funny Jokes for SeniorsClean, relatable jokes for seniors about aging, retirement, doctors and technology.
36 Christmas Jokes for WorkOffice-safe Christmas jokes for the party, the card and the team chat.
50 Jokes for Work MeetingsQuick icebreakers to open a meeting, a Zoom call or the team chat.
41 Retirement Jokes for CoworkersJokes for a coworker’s retirement card, party or farewell email.
41 Retirement Speech JokesJokes and lines that work read out loud in a retirement speech or toast.
33 Birthday Jokes for CoworkersFunny birthday jokes for a coworker’s card or the office cake.
41 Over-the-Hill Birthday JokesJokes for milestone birthdays: 40, 50, 60 and beyond.
30 Thanksgiving Jokes for WorkOffice-safe Thanksgiving jokes for the potluck, the team chat and the meeting.
48 Sarcastic Jokes for WorkDry, sarcastic jokes that are still safe to share at work.
Comic of the day
Harold & June: What’s for dinner?
Harold: What’s for dinner tonight?
June: Whatever you’re making.
Harold: So… cereal?
Just added
A few new jokes go up every day.
Halloween JokesNew today
I asked my wife if my vampire costume was convincing.
She said, “Pale, up at 3 a.m., avoids mirrors? You’ve been in costume for years.”
Marriage JokesNew today
For our anniversary, my husband gave me a card that said, “To my wonderful wife.”
He signed it, “Regards, Dave.”
Birthday Jokes for CoworkersNew today
We got you a gluten-free, sugar-free, dairy-free birthday cake.
Enjoy. It’s mostly the plate.
Got a joke worth telling?
Send it in. If it gets a real laugh here, it goes on the list.