My claustrophobic buddy says he wants to become an astronaut.
He just needs a little space.
2,043 jokes · 32 topics · new daily
Funny jokes worth telling.
Clean, short jokes that are actually funny: dad jokes, one-liners, work jokes and holiday jokes, sorted into lists so you find the right one fast.
Today’s jokes
I asked my financial advisor when I could afford to retire.
He laughed. Then he billed me for the laugh.
My uncle wants to deep-fry the turkey again this year.
The fire department sends us a Christmas card now.
My cat only naps on clean laundry, and only on the black pants.
She’s not shedding. She’s autographing.
I made the mistake of having a triple espresso right before my haircut.
The barber made me sign a waiver.
The vending machine in our teachers’ lounge has eaten so many of my dollars.
I now claim it as a dependent.
I quit throwing my clubs when I lose my temper.
It was embarrassing. They were going farther than my drives.
I’ve stopped buying green bananas.
At my age, that’s a long-term investment.
1 / 8
Thanksgiving jokes
In season now. Holiday lists move up here about six weeks before the big day.
Thanksgiving · Thu, Nov 26
51 Thanksgiving Jokes
Clean Thanksgiving jokes: turkey, relatives, football and the post-dinner nap.
For workAll joke lists
32 topics, best jokes first. Every joke is a quick setup and a punchline.
Holidays and birthdays
Everyday jokes
Life and family
Work and jobs
Food, pets and hobbies
Joke videos
A new short joke video every day. See all videos
My phone told me my screen time went up 40% this week.One-Liners · 10s
I’m forty-two and still sitting at the kids’ table.Thanksgiving · 10s
I went shopping for camouflage pants today.Puns · 8s
I told my boss I need a raise. Three companies are after me.Work · 9s
Skunked again, Dale asked the guy at the fish counter to toss him four trout so he could honestly say he caught them.Fishing · 14s
Popular joke lists
Hand-picked jokes for work, church, husbands, wives and more.
31 Funny Knock-Knock Jokes for KidsSilly, clean knock-knock jokes for parents to tell the kids: animals, food and holidays.
51 Clean Jokes for WorkOffice-safe jokes for meetings, the team chat and the break room.
51 Funny Wife JokesAffectionate wife jokes for husbands who know who’s really in charge.
33 Funny Food PunsClean food puns about cooking, cheese, fruit, veggies and coffee.
34 Clean Jokes for ChurchWholesome, clean jokes to read at church, Bible study or the potluck.
51 Funny Husband JokesHusband jokes for wives who have heard “I know where it is” one too many times.
21 Funny Christmas PunsClean Christmas puns for cards and captions: Santa, reindeer, snowmen and elves.
31 Funny Knock-Knock Jokes for AdultsClean knock-knock jokes for adults about work, bills, getting older and home repairs.
23 Funny Halloween PunsClean Halloween puns for captions and parties: ghosts, skeletons, vampires and witches.
40 Funny Boss JokesJokes about bosses, managers and the meetings they schedule.
35 Funny Animal PunsClean animal puns about pets, farm animals, wild animals and bugs.
45 Dad Jokes for WorkOffice-safe dad jokes for meetings, Slack and the break room.
51 Funny Pet JokesThe best dog and cat jokes in one place, for pet lovers.
23 Funny Work PunsOffice-safe work puns and job puns about careers, trades and quitting.
51 Funny Jokes for SeniorsClean, relatable jokes for seniors about aging, retirement, doctors and technology.
36 Christmas Jokes for WorkOffice-safe Christmas jokes for the party, the card and the team chat.
50 Jokes for Work MeetingsQuick icebreakers to open a meeting, a Zoom call or the team chat.
41 Retirement Jokes for CoworkersJokes for a coworker’s retirement card, party or farewell email.
41 Retirement Speech JokesJokes and lines that work read out loud in a retirement speech or toast.
33 Birthday Jokes for CoworkersFunny birthday jokes for a coworker’s card or the office cake.
41 Over-the-Hill Birthday JokesJokes for milestone birthdays: 40, 50, 60 and beyond.
30 Thanksgiving Jokes for WorkOffice-safe Thanksgiving jokes for the potluck, the team chat and the meeting.
48 Sarcastic Jokes for WorkDry, sarcastic jokes that are still safe to share at work.
Comic of the day
Harold & June: Dancing all night
June: Remember when we used to dance all night?
Harold: Sure do.
June: Now you need a nap after the hokey pokey.
Just added
A few new jokes go up every day.
Marriage JokesNew today
I hid the TV remote from my husband for one night.
By nine o’clock, he was reading a book. I’ve never been so scared.
Fishing JokesNew today
I bought a digital fish scale that reads exactly two pounds heavy.
Turns out it’s the best-selling model at the bait shop.
Dad Jokes for WorkNew today
My company finally got me a new office chair.
I feel like I’ve really turned things around.
Got a joke worth telling?
Send it in. If it gets a real laugh here, it goes on the list.