24 Funny Work Puns
Office-safe work puns and job puns about careers, trades and quitting.
Funny work puns and job puns, clean enough for the team chat. Bakers, electricians, accountants and everyone who ever quit, got fired or retired, told one pun at a time. See all 107 puns.
Fired, quit and retired puns (10)
Every job that ended badly, and the pun that went with it.
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I lost my job at the hot dog stand.
They caught me putting my hair in a bun.
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I used to be a taxi driver, but customers kept complaining.
Apparently they hated it when I went the extra mile.
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My uncle spent forty years working at the tire shop.
Now he’s retired.
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The new lumberjack lasted exactly one week.
He couldn’t hack it, so they gave him the axe.
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I opened an origami shop downtown.
Three months later, it folded.
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I got fired from my job at the calendar factory.
All I did was take a couple of days off.
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The whole staff at the bowling alley walked off the job this morning.
They’re officially on strike.
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I got let go from the keyboard factory.
Apparently I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.
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My massage therapist got fired after three weeks.
She kept rubbing customers the wrong way.
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I quit my job at the pencil factory.
The whole thing felt pointless.
Career and trade puns (10)
Dentists, electricians, bakers and butchers who take their wordplay very seriously.
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Our dentist just married a manicurist.
Now they fight tooth and nail.
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I’m thinking about a career making mirrors.
It’s a job I can really see myself doing.
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Why does the auto mechanic sleep under the cars?
He likes to wake up oily.
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I used to work at a can-crushing plant.
It was soda pressing.
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I told my contractor I didn’t want carpet on the stairs.
He gave me a blank stare.
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Why did the butcher start picking up extra shifts?
He was trying to make ends meat.
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I asked my brother how he learned to be a garbage collector.
He said, “I just picked it up as I went along.”
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I tried to make a living as a historian.
But there was no future in it.
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My buddy at the bakery has been working double shifts all month.
He really kneads the dough.
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The electrician got arrested on the job today.
The charge? Battery.
Odd jobs for animals and monsters (4)
A snake at the DMV, a gator investigator and Dracula doing your taxes.
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What do you call a snake who works at the DMV?
A civil serpent.
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What do you call an alligator who wears a vest to work?
An investigator.
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Why did the witch take a job at the fancy downtown hotel?
She’d always wanted to work in broom service.
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Why did Dracula decide to become an accountant?
He was already a Count.