33 Funny Animal Puns
Clean animal puns about pets, farm animals, wild animals and bugs.
Funny animal puns for adults and kids: pets, farm animals, wild animals and the occasional bug. Clean, quick and guaranteed to get a groan from someone you love. See all 107 puns.
Wild animal puns (12)
Snakes, bears, gators and one very polite lion, all ready to make you groan.
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What do you call a snake who works at the DMV?
A civil serpent.
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My wife asked me to please stop doing my flamingo impression.
So I had to put my foot down.
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What do you call a grizzly who’s lost all his teeth?
A gummy bear.
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?
“Bison.”
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What do you call a camel with no hump?
Humphrey.
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Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
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What do you call an alligator who wears a vest to work?
An investigator.
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I opened my wardrobe this morning and found a full-grown lion inside. I asked what he was doing in there.
He said, “Narnia business.”
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A grizzly walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a bourbon and… … … … a ginger ale.”
Bartender says, “Sure. Why the big paws?”
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Ever wonder why seagulls only fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
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Why is it impossible to play a prank on a snake?
You can’t pull its leg.
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What do you call a kangaroo who never gets off the couch?
A pouch potato.
Farm animal puns (10)
Pigs, cows, horses and chickens doing what farm animals do best: terrible wordplay.
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A duck finishes a fancy steak dinner, and the waiter brings him the check.
“Thanks. Just put it on my bill.”
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What do you call a pig who just earned his black belt?
A pork chop.
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How do sheep wish each other a merry Christmas?
“Fleece Navidad!”
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Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
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I used to run a dating service for chickens.
But I just couldn’t make hens meet.
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What do you call a bull taking a nap?
A bulldozer.
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I’ve owned the same horse for twenty-two years.
It’s the most stable relationship I’ve ever had.
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What did the old horse yell after he tripped in the barn?
“Help! I’ve fallen, and I can’t giddyup!”
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How does a chicken bake a birthday cake?
From scratch.
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Why did the rooster get thrown out of the basketball game?
Too many fowls.
Pet and bug puns (11)
Dogs, fish, bees and a speedy snail, from the backyard to the living room.
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My math teacher’s parrot flew out an open window and never came back.
Now she just calls it a polygon.
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Two fish are sitting in a tank. One turns to the other.
“Do you have any idea how to drive this thing?”
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What do you call a dog who does magic tricks?
A Labracadabrador.
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I asked my dog what two minus two is.
He said nothing.
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What do you call a bee who can never make up its mind?
A maybe.
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What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
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Why did the snail paint a giant letter S on the hood of his car?
So everyone would say, “Look at that S car go!”
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My wife asked me to take the spider outside instead of squashing it. So I did.
We grabbed a beer. Nice guy. He’s a web designer.
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What’s a dog’s favorite Christmas carol?
“Bark! The Herald Angels Sing.”
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What do grumpy mice mail each other in December?
Cross-mouse cards.
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What’s a mosquito’s favorite water sport?
Skin diving.