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33 Funny Easter Jokes for Adults

Clean Easter jokes for adults: egg hunts, Peeps, chocolate bunnies and the Easter ham.

Funny Easter jokes for adults that are clean enough for church and work. Egg hunts that end in July, chocolate bunnies missing their ears, Peeps, jelly beans and the ham that never runs out.

Easter egg hunt and Easter Bunny jokes (13)

Competitive grown-ups, eggs found by the lawn mower and a bunny with a supplier.

  1. Our real estate agent asked why we were selling such a lovely house.

    Easter egg hunt. Real eggs. One was never found.

  2. We missed a few eggs in the backyard Easter hunt. My husband found them on Monday.

    With the lawn mower. The siding still looks like an omelet.

  3. We put a twenty-dollar bill inside the golden egg at our family Easter hunt.

    Grandma found it in four seconds. Funny, since Grandma also hid it.

  4. At the neighborhood egg hunt, one dad showed up with a strategy.

    He had a map, a headlamp and a second basket. His kid is two.

  5. This year we accidentally mixed the raw eggs in with the hard-boiled Easter eggs.

    We found out during the egg toss. Uncle Dave’s khakis didn’t make it.

  6. My teenagers announced they’re too old for an Easter egg hunt.

    Then I put cash in the eggs. They brought a metal detector.

  7. At the neighborhood egg hunt, the little ones got a two-minute head start.

    My brother-in-law tried to argue he’s emotionally four.

  8. Our family started an Easter egg hunt just for the adults this year.

    Within a minute, Aunt Linda boxed out my husband like a power forward.

  9. We got the kids a real bunny for Easter years ago.

    The kids moved out. The rabbit stayed. Now he’s my rabbit, and he hates me.

  10. I asked the mall Easter Bunny how his day was going.

    He removed his head, stared at me silently, and put it back on.

  11. We used that shiny plastic Easter grass in the baskets exactly once.

    Years later, it’s still in the dryer, the car and the dog.

  12. I found a plastic Easter egg in the flowerbed while weeding in July.

    The jelly bean inside was in perfect condition. That’s what scares me.

  13. Why does the Easter Bunny bring eggs when rabbits don’t even lay eggs?

    Nobody asks where he gets them. That’s a guy with a supplier.

Peeps, jelly bean and chocolate bunny jokes (8)

Hollow bunnies, black jelly beans and the yearly Peep you always regret.

  1. Our office held a guess-how-many-jelly-beans-are-in-the-jar contest.

    Accounting won. They didn’t guess. They audited the jar.

  2. I read that each chocolate creme egg has about 150 calories.

    Each? Nobody told me there was an “each.”

  3. My husband picks out all the black jelly beans and gives them to me.

    Twenty-two years, he thinks it’s romantic. It’s waste management.

  4. Every Easter, my dentist mails me a solid chocolate bunny.

    That’s not a gift. That’s a business plan.

  5. I microwaved a Peep for ten seconds just to see what would happen.

    It tripled in size. Same thing happens to me at Easter brunch.

  6. Chocolate bunnies are hollow, so technically, a whole one barely counts.

    That’s why I eat four. Adds up to one sensible bunny.

  7. I buy one package of Peeps every year, eat one, and remember why.

    By next Easter, I’ll forget again. That’s their entire business model.

  8. I opened my chocolate bunny on Easter morning, and both ears were already gone.

    My husband says it was born that way. He had chocolate on his chin.

Easter brunch and dinner jokes (6)

Salty ham, deviled egg rivalries and a $79 buffet eaten out of principle.

  1. Every Easter, my mom, my aunt and my sister each bring a platter of deviled eggs.

    Nobody says a word about it. It’s a cold war with paprika.

  2. Grandma’s Easter ham is famous for being a little salty.

    Last year, three deer showed up at the window to lick it.

  3. Easter brunch at the fancy hotel was $79 a person, all you can eat.

    I don’t even like shrimp. I ate forty out of principle.

  4. I hosted Easter brunch for seventeen relatives this year.

    Afterward, Uncle Ron asked where we were all going for brunch.

  5. My aunt bakes a lamb-shaped cake every Easter.

    It always comes out of the pan looking like it’s seen things.

  6. My husband wore bunny ears to Easter brunch to be funny.

    The waitress handed him a kids’ menu and crayons. He’s never been happier.

Easter outfit and church jokes (6)

Matching pastels, giant hats and a church parking lot closer to your house.

  1. My wife dressed the whole family in matching pastels for Easter.

    In pale yellow, I look like a Peep that does its own taxes.

  2. Easter lands on a different date every year, depending on the moon.

    My husband uses the same system for taking out the trash.

  3. My mom still makes me dress up nice for Easter dinner.

    I’m 48. She still licked her thumb and fixed my hair.

  4. My dad wore the same pastel sport coat every Easter for thirty years.

    It went out of style, came back, and left again. He never moved.

  5. Our church gets so crowded on Easter Sunday.

    We parked closer to our own house than to the church.

  6. My grandmother’s Easter hat was so big.

    The family behind her watched the whole service on the TV in the lobby.

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